It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
