I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
