Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
