:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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