I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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