dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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