I just found puke in my bra..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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