I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
