I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
