please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
worst night to have a conscience
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
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