google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
