I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
