Who wears a wallet chain?!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
