Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
