Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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