trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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