what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
