Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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