the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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