You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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