Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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