matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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