There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
