Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
