Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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