I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
