you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
