hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize