kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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