my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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