is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So vagazzling was a success
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
