well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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