In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
