they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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