My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
