Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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