So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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