Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
