Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
