he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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