There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
