remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
