I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
one might say we're banned from that church
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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