STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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