I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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