Just fell off a train. Bad.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
