Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
