big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
