Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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