I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
