i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
