Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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