I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
