so explain again why im purple
no
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Can I color on your dick again?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
