get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
