Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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