i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
