walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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