At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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