Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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