why do cheetos always look like penises
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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