she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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